All on Bleacher Report

The only thing I have time to write these days is for Bleacher Report. So as much as it kills me, it's time to put at least a temporary end to The Left Calf. It's been a long road since I started this thing back in 2006, but that road has forked and BR is the path to greater prosperity.

So for the continued misadventures of Seth's writing career, go to my profile page on Bleacher Report: http://bleacherreport.com/users/5747-seth-doria. I just posted a nifty slide show examining the greatnes of the 1996 NFL Draft.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Back Again

Sorry mates. Been on a bit of a holiday.

The Ups And Downs of Rams 23, NY Jets 20 http://bleacherreport.com/articles/236860-the-ups-and-downs-of-rams-23-ny-jets-20

Breaking Down The St. Louis Rams Depth Chart http://bleacherreport.com/articles/235296-breaking-down-the-st-louis-rams-depth-chart

Observations From Rams Camp

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/229942-observations-from-rams-camp

Five Fantasy Super Sleepers

(Z and Danny, you can stop reading here.)

As we head into the NFL Preseason schedule this weekend with the Bills and Titans in the Hall of Fame Game on Sunday night, fantasy drafts are coming up soon.

And while some of you out there have kept informed on all the player movement during the offseason, it’s always worth taking a look at how the change might impact a player’s fantasy value from last season to the coming one.

After all, changing systems or moving to a team where you’ll have a much better opportunity to play can have a dramatic effect on a player’s fantasy production.

(It was this thinking last year that convinced me to pick up Michael Turner in the second round last year – championship!)

Another thing to consider is a player who has stayed with the same team, but will be playing in a new scheme due to a coaching turnover. He might be wearing the same uniform, but if the guy calling the plays is different, you need to take that into account.

So with all that said, here are five players who will be available far later in drafts than they should be.

QB Kyle Orton, Denver Broncos

Lost in all the hullabaloo over Jay Cutler is that Orton will now take the reins on an offense run by Josh McDaniels, formerly of the New England Patriots.

The Patriots pass numbers the past two seasons with McDaniels calling the plays:

2008: 534 pass attempts for 3,693 yards and 21 TD

2007: 578 pass attempts for 4,806 yards and 50 TD

Orton will have a very solid WR duo with Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal, one of the best young offensive lines in the NFL, a deep stable of talented running backs and a division not exactly loaded with stellar defenses (San Diego the exception).

Now I obviously don’t expect Orton to go anywhere near Tom Brady’s record season of 2007, but the 2008 Patriots numbers with Matt Cassel the primary QB are well within reach.

WR Chris Henry, Cincinnati Bengals

With TJ Houshmandzadeh off to Seattle, there’s going to be a redistribution within the Bengals passing game.

Laveranues Coles was imported from New York for $28 million, so you would expect him to slide into the second starting role. But make no mistake - Coles is no Houshmandzadeh, who averaged 98 catches for 1,042 yards and eight touchdowns over the past three years.

Coles is a far more traditional number two at this stage of his career (10th season, turns 32 in December), meaning there will be more balls coming the way of Henry, who caught only 19 in 12 games last season..

And though Henry has been the poster boy for idiot NFL players, it’s been some time since he’s run afoul of the league’s personal conduct policy. Still just 26, it’s possible he’s finally figured it all out.

Don’t be surprised if Henry goes for 50+ receptions and over 800 yards. And if Coles should go down to injury, those numbers could go up to 60-70 receptions and over 1,000 yards.

WR Donnie Avery, St. Louis Rams

The first wide receiver selected in the 2008 NFL Draft was one of four rookies last year to finish with 50 or more receptions and 500 or more receiving yards (53 receptions for 674 yards and three touchdowns).

With Torry Holt gone to Jacksonville, Avery now takes over as the undisputed top dog on the Rams WR corps.

Talent + Opportunity = Sleeper.

(Note: Keep an eye on Rams WR Laurent Robinson as well. It looks like he’s pulled ahead of the pack for the other starting spot in the Rams offense. He’s tall, fast and has good hands.)

RB TJ Duckett, Seattle Seahawks

I’m going to thank Seattle WB Matt Hasselbeck for this one, since it was his Twitter post back during mini camps that first got my thinking about Duckett.

The crux of Hasselbeck’s tweet: Look for Duckett to be the main man on the goal line.

Aside from just Hasselbeck’s observations, Duckett has also been reunited with Greg Knapp, who was his offensive coordinator in Atlanta, where he scored a total of 27 touchdowns from 2003 to 2005.

I expect Julius Jones will also have a resurgence thanks to Knapp and new head coach Jim Mora (plus the departure of Maurice Morris to Detroit), but it’s going to be Duckett who hits pay-dirt the most often. He’ll be a good guy to have on your roster for the bye-week fill-in or if your main RBs go down to injury.

WR Steve Smith, New York Giants

Ranked just the 67th best fantasy WR for 2009 by ESPN.com (one spot behind Giants rookie Hakeem Nicks), this guy might just be my favorite sleeper on the board.

Just look at all the things working in his favor:

1. He’s going into his third season, which anecdotal evidence suggests is when many young WRs finally start to make their mark.

2. The top of the depth chart completely cleared out with the departure of Plaxico Burress and Amani Toomer, and it’s looking early in camp like Smith has inside position on the number one role.

3. He has a legitimate quarterback with Eli Manning who likes to throw him the ball.

4. The Giants feature a great run game to force opposing defenses to cheat toward the line of scrimmage, opening opportunities for the WRs to get behind the safeties.

Smith showed he could play last year with 57 catches for 574 yards. If he had more than just one touchdown, he would be on everybody’s radar.

But he didn’t, so he’s not.

Take advantage.

Five Under-The-Radar Guys At Rams Camp, Part II: Defense

On Monday, we took a look at five players on offense to watch at Rams camp. Today’s, it’s the defense’s turn.

CB Tye Hill

Hill has been nothing short of a monumental bust in his first three years since being selected with the 15th overall pick out of Clemson in the 2006 NFL Draft. The fact the Rams traded back from the 11th pick in that draft with Denver, who used the Rams’ pick to select quarterback Jay Cutler, has only magnified the frustration with Hill’s lack of progress.

And if the Rams had their druthers, they probably wouldn’t put a whole lot of faith in Hill, who played just four games last year due to a knee injury and drew the ire of Jim Haslett for not getting healthy quickly enough.

But the Rams really don’t have a lot of options at corner. Ron Bartell signed an extension in the offseason and will start barring any unforeseen injury. But the other starting job is totally up in the air.

2007 third-round pick Jonathan Wade has showed some flashes and 2009 third-round pick Bradley Fletcher out of Iowa may be able to step in and contribute, but that’s about it as far as potential starting cornerbacks go.

And so though he really hasn’t shown a whole lot in years one, two or three, Hill will have every opportunity through camp to prove that he was worth the pick and deserves to remain a part of the future in St. Louis. Otherwise, that $1.4 million he’s due next year might prove too rich for the Rams’ blood.


DT Adam Carriker

Carriker was miscast as a defensive tackle under Jim Haslett. He’s big at 6’6” and 300 pounds, but 300 pounds on a 6’6” frame is much different than 300 pounds on a 6’-even frame. He just doesn’t have the right body type to last on the interior of the D-live 16 weeks a years.

But if you go back to Carriker’s days in the Big 12 with Nebraska, you find a dominant terror off the edge who finished his career with 41 career tackles for loss and 20.5 career sacks.

As a junior, Carriker had 9.5 sacks, 17 tackles for loss, and was voted the 2005 Nebraska Defensive MVP. Then as a senior, he finished with seven sacks and 16 tackles behind the line of scrimmage, was named Big 12 Defensive Lineman of the Year, first-team All-Big 12 and Third-team All-America.

This is who the Rams drafted with the 13th overall pick, and if there’s one player who will benefit more than any other from the transition from Scott Linehan and Jim Haslett to Steve Spagnuolo and Ken Flajole, it’s Carriker.

Here’s hoping for Carriker’s sake (and that of Rams fans) that Spagnuolo moves him into the rotation at end with Chris Long, James Hall, Victor Adeyanju, and the aging Leonard Little.


LB Quinton Culberson

With James Laurinaitis in the fold to take over the middle, Will Witherspoon can finally move back over to the weak side, where he should flourish playing the same position he played under Flajole when both were in Carolina.

Now they just need a solid strong-side linebacker to complete the trio. The departed Pisa Tinoisamoa always had a better reputation that he deserved with his play on the field, so the switch to a lesser-known player won’t necessarily result in a drop in play.

With that said, the list of prospects here won’t exactly make your jaw drop: 33-year-old Chris Draft is in his third year with his fifth franchise, 2008 seventh-round pick Larry Grant was signed over from the 49ers practice squad last season, 2008 Mr. Irrelevant David Vobora, and Culberson, an undrafted free agent out of Mississippi State in 2007 who has played in all but two games over his first two seasons with 11 starts.

At 6’1”, Culberson is stout at the point of attack, plus he’s fast enough to get to the hole in time. And at still just 23 years old (24 in October) he’s got perhaps the highest ceiling of any of the current crop of SLBs.

The addition of Flajole will be huge here. Flajole helped Jon Beason, Dan Morgan and Mark Fields to Pro Bowls during his tenure with the Panthers, and did wonders for Witherspoon when the two were together.

Dude knows linebackers.

Now I’m not saying Culberson will be on the same level as those guys, but he’s got the raw materials and coaching to turn into a viable starter.


CB Justin King

A fourth-round pick in the 2008 NFL Draft out of Penn State, King is one of those guys who probably won’t contribute all that much in the base defense this season, but his raw physical ability on a roster that’s far from loaded with outstanding athletes makes him worth keeping an eye on.
A first-team All-Big Ten corner as a junior, Hill hurt his toe during the preseason last year and lost his rookie year. But that doesn’t change the fact that he was the second faster player at the 2008 NFL Draft Combine behind only East Carolina (and then Tennessee Titans) RB Chris Johnson. And the fact he hurt his toe so early last season makes it far less likely it will develop into a problem this summer.

As I said, King is going to need time to develop into a legitimate NFL cornerback. He’s got the raw skill, but it takes a lot more than raw skill to cover in the NFL.

But while he’s learning, I’m betting he provides some electricity in the return game.

(You hear that, Derek Stanley?)


DT Hollis Thomas

So this is a bit of reach considering Thomas hasn’t signed with the Rams and is still reported to be mulling offers from three other teams (per agent Michael Bauer in the Post-Dispatch), but the addition of the 12-year veteran would provide some much needed part-time muscle in the middle of the defensive line.

Watching the New Giants lines of the past two years, and the Philadelphia Eagles lines before that, you see lots of bodies going in and out. You might have one or two guys who spend the majority of the game on the field (Chris Long), but to keep everybody else at optimal performance into the fourth quarter, you need to keep them fresh.

If you add Thomas, even at age 35, to an interior rotation already featuring Clifton Ryan, Carriker (on occasion) and fourth-round draft pick Darell Scott (6’3”, 315 pounds), then you have something opposing offensive lines have to think about.

Two factors that should play in the Rams’ favor: Thomas is a St. Louis native and he knows head coach Steve Spagnuolo from their time together in Philadelphia.


Rookie Contract Updates

On the eve of camp, the Rams have signed all but their first two picks, tackle Jason Smith and linebacker Laurinaitis.

On Monday, running back Chris Ogbonnaya, a seventh-round selection from the University of Texas, signed a four-year contract. Financial terms were not immediately available.

Also, according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, league sources indicated the Rams have reached agreements with defensive tackle Darell Scott, their fourth-round choice out of Clemson, and quarterback Keith Null, their sixth-round pick out of West Texas A&M. No details on those deals yet.

Five Under-The-Radar Guys At Rams Camp, Part I: Offense

Entering camp this week, there are so many questions regarding the St. Louis Rams that it would be impossible to list them all in this space.

I mean, when you have a starting quarterback in a make-or-break season, a receiving corps with a second-year player as its leader, a rookie middle linebacker, a whole new coaching staff, and are coming off a two-year stretch with a combined record of 5-27, there are some issues on your plate.

And it’s likely that those questions will dominate the media coverage of the team throughout camp.

But one of the great things about camp are the other players, the under-the-radar guys who might be removed from the headlines, but will prove crucial to determining the overall success or failure of the team during the upcoming season.

Over the next few days, I’ll examine ten of these players, five from the offense and five from the defense.

Today, we start with the offense.

TE Randy McMichael

When McMichael left the Miami Dolphins after the 2006 season, it was as a guy who had caught 60 or more passes in three straight seasons and hadn’t missed a start in his entire five-year career since being a fourth-round draft pick out of Georgia in the 2002 NFL Draft.

Of course that record of success didn’t carry over to St. Louis. In 2007, McMichael caught only 39 passes, tying his career low set as a rookie. Then last year he caught only 11 passes in four games, missing the rest with a broken tibia.

But 2009 has the potential to be the comeback year for McMichael.

New offensive coordinator Pat Shurmur is installing an offense that has gotten 50 or more receptions and 600 or more receiving yards from the tight end position in five of the past six seasons.

Last season only eight guys were in the 50-600 club: Tony Gonzalez, Jason Witten, Owen Daniels, Chris Cooley, Dallas Clark, Zach Miller, Antonio Gates and John Carlson.

With already favorable reviews from Shurmur during minicamps and apparently no lingering issues from the leg injury, it’s quite possible McMichael gets on that list this year.

QB Kyle Boller

Since being a first-round pick by the Baltimore Ravens in 2003, Boller has been largely a disappointment. He’s started all 16 games just once, carries a 20-22 career record (with a great defense no less) and a career 71.9 percent passer rating. He’s been replaced as the starting QB twice (Steve McNair and Joe Flacco) and his inability to develop was one of the primary factors in the downfall of former Ravens head coach Brian Billick.

But with fragility of Rams incumbent starter Marc Bulger, Boller’s ability to fill in could well be an important story line in the story of the 2009 Rams. It’s important that he come in, pick up the offense and prove through the preseason that he can run the team in Bulger’s absence.

The alternative is the winner of the battle for the third quarterback spot: Brock Berlin or sixth-round pick Keith Null. And nobody wants that.

WR Laurent Robinson

Acquired from Atlanta in exchange for swapping positions in the fifth and sixth rounds of the 2009 NFL Draft, Robinson was a third-round pick by the Falcons out of Illinois State in 2007. He’s big at 6’2” and fast with a 4.38 40 time.

Robinson finished fourth in the NFL in receptions by a rookie in 2007 with 37 (behind only Dwayne Bowe, Calvin Johnson and James Jones), but then missed most of the Falcons’ 2008 revival with injuries, finishing with just five catches in six games.

Now in a position to challenge for the Number 2 WR spot opposite Donnie Avery, Robinson should certainly be in store for a career-best season, and could prove to be a major cog in the rebuilt Rams pass attack.

LG Jacob Bell

After signing as a free agent from Tennessee for $36 million prior to last season, Bell was expected to provide an immediate upgrade on the Rams offensive line. And though you could argue Bell wasn’t the worst player on the line last year, he certainly didn’t play up to his contract in year one.

One advantage for Bell in 2009 is that he will have a much better center lining up next to him with the offseason addition of Jason Brown from Baltimore. And depending on how things play out in camp, he might have second-overall pick Jason Smith at tackle to his left.

Another advantage for Bell is that he’s bulked back up to his Tennessee playing weight after playing at about 280 pounds last season. Now with an extra 15-20 pounds on his 6’4” frame, he should be able to better hold up at the point of attack.

If not, this could be it for Bell with the Rams. Only the first two years of his contract were guaranteed, and his salary figure of $5 million in 2010 is a whole lot for a guard who spends his Sundays at the feet of his quarterback.

RB Kenneth Darby

Count me among those who think Steven Jackson is going to have a huge year in 2009. The combination of his speed, power and ability to catch the ball out of the backfield are perfect fits for West Coast offense being installed by Shurmur.

But you can’t have an objective conversation on Jackson without noting he’s missed four games in each of the past four years. And much like Philadelphia with the occasionally dinged-up Brian Westbrook, Shurmur needs somebody among the Rams stable of runners to step into the Correll Buckhalter role in St. Louis.

Darby is just one among the group of guys looking to fill that number two role. Also competing for carries will be Antonio Pittman, Samkon Gado and rookie Chris Ogbonnaya, selected in the seventh round out of Texas.

But Darby is my horse in this race.

Selected in the seventh round out of Alabama by Tampa Bay in the 2007 draft, Darby still has just 34 carries on his NFL resume. But Darby is big at 5’10” and 210 pounds, and showed last year a knack for catching the ball out of the backfield with 19 in very limited playing time. He also had very good averages per touch (4.4 per rush and 9.6 per reception), and returned seven kick-offs for 173 yards (24.7 yard average).

Granted those numbers are from a very small sample size, but Darby seems to me to be the best compliment to Jackson of the stable of backs.

Rookie Contract Updates

There isn’t any new news on the remaining four unsigned Rams draft picks, but the full details on third-round pick Bradley Fletcher’s contract are now available.

An All-Big Ten Conference honorable mention at corner for Iowa in 2008, Fletcher signed a four-year, $2.642 million contract. He will have base salaries of $310,000 in 2009, $395,000 in 2010, $480,000 in 2011, and $565,000 in 2012. The deal included an $892,298 signing bonus.

Financial terms on fifth-round WR Brooks Foster’s four-year contract remain unavailable. LT Jason Smith (first round, Baylor), LB James Laurinaitis (second round, Ohio State), DT Dorell Scott (fourth round, Clemson) and QB Keith Null (sixth round, West Texas A&M) remain unsigned.

Rams Must Sign Smith, Laurinaitis On Time

(Note: I've been named the Featured Columnist for the 2009 St. Louis Rams by Bleacher Report. As such, I'll be writing on the Rams at least twice a week through training camp, and three times a week during the regular season. This is my first official article in the position.)

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/221898-for-rams-signing-smith-laurinaitis-on-time-a-top-priority

While it’s obviously too early to tell how the Rams’ 2009 draft class will turn out, there’s little question that their first two picks, Baylor offensive tackle Jason Smith and Ohio State middle linebacker James Laurinaitis, will have to have hugely successful rookie seasons if the Rams have any hopes at turning around their dismal performance in 2008.

Now they just need contracts.

With just a few days until the opening of camp (rookies, quarterbacks and selected veterans report on July 29), Smith and Laurinaitis are two of four remaining unsigned rookies from the 2009 NFL Draft class.

Rams lead negotiator Kevin Demoff doesn’t seem particularly concerned.

"I don't lose any sleep," Demoff told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "These things have a way of working themselves out. ... I would be shocked if there was a holdout.”

"I'm extremely confident that those guys will be here,” Demoff went on to say. “Unforeseen things happen, but I'd be very disappointed in both us and them if they weren't here on time."

And so would Rams fans.

New head coach Steve Spagnuolo is trying to set a new tone for the future, and Smith and Laurinaitis are two of the most important guys in rebuilding the talent level on the roster.

They need to be there from day one, and it’s not just for public relations or making a positive impression (though those are two important benefits). It’s because both guys need to be prepared to start in Week 1 at Seattle. That’s a little more than six weeks after camp opens, not a lot of time to transform from college Big Man on Campus to NFL starter.

The two contracts to look at for Smith are those of 2008 first overall pick Jason Long, an offensive tackle like Smith, and 2008 second overall pick Chris Long, the defensive tackle selected out of Virginia by the Rams.

Jake Long signed with the Dolphins for $57.75 million over five years with $30 million guaranteed. Chris Long signed with St. Louis for five years and $48 million with $22.385 million guaranteed

It’s obviously not quite so simple as just splitting the difference, but you can expect Smith’s deal to end up right around $54 million over five years with $26 million guaranteed. (Obviously those numbers go up if Smith signs a six-year deal instead of a five-year contract, though the per-year average would average out at just about the same.)

As for Laurinaitis, the 35th overall pick, neither the player chose immediately ahead of him (Patrick Chung by New England) or after (Ohio State teammate Brian Robiske by the Browns) have inked deals. Last year’s 35th overall pick, corner Brandon Flowers, signed with Kansas City for $3.215 million over four years with a $1.51 million signing bonus.

Here is the full run-down of the Rams draft picks and contracts:

OT Jason Smith, First Round (second overall) out of Baylor: Unsigned

LB James Laurinaitis, Second Round (35th overall) out of Ohio State: Unsigned

CB Bradley Fletcher, Third Round (66th overall) out of Iowa: Four-year deal including a signing bonus of $892,298 (total value unknown)

DT Dorell Scott, Fourth Round (103rd overall) out of Clemson: Unsigned

WR Brooks Foster, Fifth Round (160th overall) out of North Carolina: Four-year contract (terms undisclosed)

QB Keith Null, Sixth Round (196th overall) out of West Texas A&M: Unsigned

RB Chris Ogbonnaya, Seventh Round (211th overall) out of Texas: Four-year deal worth $1.816 million with a $66,000 signing bonus

Rams Open Up

With the Rams back in St. Louis after holding last year’s camp in Wisconsin, area fans will have ample opportunities to catch the rebuilding squad: A full 32 practice sessions and scrimmage during training camp are currently scheduled to be open to the public.

Considering most St. Louisans couldn’t go five deep on a list of current Rams, now is the time to get to know the new crop. Here’s the schedule released by the team. For up-to-date practice schedules please call the Training Camp* hotline at 314-516-8852.

Thursday, July 30 (quarterbacks, rookies and selected veterans): Practice 8:15 – 9:30 a.m.; Practice 2:15 – 3:30 p.m.

Friday, July 31: Practice 3 – 4:30 p.m.

Saturday, August 1: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4:25 p.m.

Sunday, August 2: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4:25 p.m.

Monday, August 3: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4:25 p.m.

Tuesday, August 4: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4 p.m.

Wednesday, August 5: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:15 – 3:15 p.m.

Thursday, August 6: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4 p.m.

Friday, August 7: Practice 8:15 – 9:55 a.m.; Scrimmage 6:30 p.m. (Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Mo.)

Saturday, August 8: Practice 2:45 – 4 p.m.

Sunday, August 9: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:15 – 3:15 p.m.

Monday, August 10: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4 p.m.

Tuesday, August 11: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:15 – 3:15 p.m.

Wednesday, August 12: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 2:45 – 4 p.m.

Sunday, August 16: Practice 2:30 – 4:45 p.m.

Monday, August 17: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 1:25 – 2:45 p.m.

Tuesday, August 18: Practice 8:15 – 10:30 a.m.; Practice 1:25 – 2:45 p.m.

Wednesday, August 19: Practice 11:15 a.m. – 12:45 p.m.

Sunday, August 23: Practice 2:30 – 4:45 p.m.

Final Note

I know it’s a tough economy, and businesses everywhere are scrambling for dollars, but the Rams’ official training camp this year is called the “2009 St. Louis Rams Bud Light Training Camp presented by Russell Athletic.”

Seems a bit much, no?

Cardinals Should Pass on Roy Halladay

As we kick off the second half of the season, more than half of the teams in the league can still see a plausible scenario under which they can make a push for the offseason.

There are ten teams currently within five or fewer games of the division lead. Add in the teams within at least five games of the wild cards and the division leaders themselves, and you’ve got 19 of the league’s 30 teams within one or two good weeks of October baseball.

Toronto is not one of them.

And so it comes to pass that Roy Halladay, six-time All Star, winner of the 2003 Cy Young, winner of 141 games and arguably the greatest pitcher in franchise history, is on the trading block.

The questions now become who gets him and what price.

Here in St. Louis, fans are salivating. We see the prospects of Halladay-Chris Carpenter-Adam Wainwright-Kyle Lohse down the stretch, and it’s not hard to imagine the Cardinals building on their division lead and heading back to the playoffs for the first time since their magical run to the 2006 World Series title.

But there’s that question of how much. How much do you give up for a great pitcher with a year and a half left on his deal?

2008 first-round draft pick Brett Wallace is a no brainer. He was already drafted once by Toronto in 2005, but then decided to head off to Arizona State, where he won two Pac-10 Triple Crowns.

In just his second year of pro ball, Wallace is already hitting over .300 at AAA Memphis. He’s a legitimate top level prospect, even if his future defensive positioning is still somewhat in the air.

(He’s a third baseman now, but should probably switch to 1B or even DH. Problem in St. Louis is there’s no DH and there’s already a pretty first-baseman by the name of Albert Pujols.)

So Wallace is in. You hate to give him up, but it’s Roy Halladay we’re talking about. You got to give up to get.

Still, though, that’s not going to be enough. You don’t just get an All Star ace for a high-level prospect, no matter how high the ceiling.

So who else?

Well, you can’t give up Wainwright. That’s a deal breaker. Sure Carpenter-Halladay might be an upgrade over Carpenter-Wainwright, but Wainwright is still only 27 and he’s signed through 2013 for very reasonable money ($4.65 million next year, $6.5 million in 2011, $9 million club option in 2012 and $12 million club option in 2013).

Halladay, on the other hand, is 32 and will make $15.75 million next year before commanding a huge deal on the open market after this season–right about the same time St. Louis is trying how to figure out how to pay Pujols $200 million or so.

So you can’t give up Wainwright. It wouldn’t provide near enough upgrade over the next year-plus to warrant the degradation of the staff over the next four years.

And if you’re not giving up Wainwright, chances are Toronto asks for center fielder Colby Rasmus in his place.

And to that I say no.

Anybody watching a sizeable number of Cardinals games this year knows that pitching really isn’t the issue. With a 3.76 team ERA entering the break, fourth best in the majors and second best in the National League, the staff and bullpen are doing just fine.

The problem is with the bats. The Cardinals are hitting only .255 as a team, good for just 23rd best in the league. They’re a bit more respectable in the home run department, ranking 14th with 92, but when you consider Pujols has 32 of those … well, it’s not so respectable.

Ryan Ludwick was getting going late in the first half, so that would be a big plus. And guys like Skip Schumaker, Brendan Ryan (can’t believe I’m including him here) and Yadier Molina are all serviceable hitters who do their part.

Not doing their part: Rick Ankiel (.215 BA, 5 HR in 223 AB), Chris Duncan (.234, 5 HR in 252 AB), Khalil Green (.200, 5 HR in 130 AB and now on his second DL stint for anxiety), and the pu-pu platter of fill-in third basemen who belong in Memphis (Joe Thurston hitting .223 and Brian Barden hitting .233).

And that brings us back to Rasmus, who right now would have to be considered the favorite for the National League Rookie of the Year.

After a rough start that saw him hit just .212 in May, Rasmus hit .333 in June and is off on the same clip so far in July. His on-base percentage in July is .417. His slugging percentage is .667.

Of course July is far from over, so those numbers could very well go down. But there are some deeper numbers that indicate Rasmus is only getting started.

In June, Rasmus struck out 13 times in 85 plate appearances with no walks. So far in July (49 plate appearances), it’s eight strikeouts with six walks. And despite starting just 66 of the team’s 91 first-half games, Rasmus trails only Pujols himself in number of extra-base hits with 31 (Pujols has 55).

And remember he’s just 22.

So we’re not in the “maybe he’ll he be good someday” stage of prospect evaluation with Rasmus anymore. He’s already the second best hitter on the team, a smooth-as-silk center fielder, and he’s light-years away from free agency.

And as much as I like Halladay (and that’s a whole lot), I would not give up Rasmus to get him.

The Cardinals pitching is good enough to win as it’s currently constituted. The offense is not. So it just doesn’t make any sense to give up your second-best hitter to get a pitcher you really don’t need in order to compete.

So sorry Cards fans. I know the prospect of landing Halladay would seem worth any price. But it’s not worth giving up Wainwright and it’s not worth giving up Rasmus.

And without those two, there’s no Halladay in St. Louis.

The Sad Case of Rick Ankiel

When the baseball starts back up tomorrow, there are going to be all kinds of story lines to follow.

Can Albert Pujols complete the first Triple Crown since 1967?

Will the trading of Roy Halladay change the landscape of the National League pennant race?

Will the National League Wild Card really come from the NL West?

These are all great stories, and I can’t wait to see how they play out (especially if Halladay ends up on the Cardinals).

But there’s another story that’s weighing on my mind. It’s not about records, pennants or the drama of October.

It’s about Rick Ankiel.

Most people know the basic outlines of the Ankiel story, but the basic outlines won’t do. To truly appreciate the tragedy of Rick Ankiel, you need the details.

A second-round pick by the Cardinals out of Port St. Lucie High School in Florida, Ankiel was as can’t miss as can’t miss got.

Combining a rocket fastball, heavy sinker and devastating hook, Ankiel was the high school player of the year drafted in the second round and signed for $2.5 million (fifth highest ever at the time; Scott Boras client).

He was a full-time big league starter at age 20.

He was second in the Rookie of the Year voting.

And he had earned so much faith as a rookie that Cardinals manager Tony La Russa sent him at 21 years old to the mound to face the great Greg Maddux and the Atlanta Braves in Game 1 of the 2000 National League Division Series.

But the third inning of that game was what can only be categorized as a legendary meltdown.

Competing on the grandest stage short of the World Series itself, Ankiel imploded, throwing five wild pitches, walking four and allowing four earned runs.

With another terrible start against the Mets in Game 2 of the NLCS and an equally bad relief appearance in Game 5 of that series, Ankiel finished the 2000 playoffs with nine wild pitches, 11 walks and seven earned runs allowed in just four innings.

Ankiel was permanently damaged goods. The Cards tried to hide him by throwing bullpens off on hidden fields and limiting media access, but there was no use. Ankiel’s mind was broken, and not even legendary sports doctor James Andrews can fix that.

After fits and starts and losing the better part of two seasons to injury, including Tommy John Surgery in 2003, Ankiel finally called it quits on his pitching career in 2005.

And normally that would be the end. And if it were, it would be a sad story, but not a terribly interesting one. Young phenoms flame out all the time. It’s a sad fact of the game. Just ask Mark Prior.

But here is where we get into the Hollywood part of the story.

Ankiel didn’t just quit and walk away like so many burnouts before him. Instead, he actually became a legitimate outfield prospect.

By August of 2007, Ankiel was leading the Pacific Coast League in homers with 32 in just 102 games. And once Cardinals outfielder Scott Spiezio was forced away from the game with a drug addiction, it was time for Ankiel’s triumphant return to the Major Leagues.

You couldn’t have scripted it any better: A packed Busch Stadium crowd gave Ankiel a standing ovation prior to his first at-bat. And after he hit a three-run jack in the seventh, the place exploded like it was McGwire’s 62nd.

This was love.

Newspaper columnists gushed, sports talk radio buzzed and TV newscasts spliced together images of Ankiel’s homers and scenes of Robert Redford playing Roy Hobbs in one of the greatest sports hero movies of all time.

The Flameout was now The Natural.

And if this was Hollywood, that’s where the story would have ended. That’s where he rides off into the sunset, a hero reborn with a pretty blonde on his arm.

Cue the music and roll the credits. There’s not a dry eye in the house.

But that’s not where it ended.

Really, those few weeks after his August 2007 call-up was as good as it got.

2008 in total wasn’t a bad year for Ankiel by any means: 120 games, 453 at-bats, .264 average, 25 homers, 71 RBI, .506 slugging percentage. There were also some incredible defensive plays along the way.

Not bad for a washed up pitcher. Not bad at all.

But battling a sports hernia, Ankiel finished 2008 in a tailspin, hitting just .169 with three homers, 12 RBI and 20 strikeouts in his final 27 games (only 16 of those starts).

And his batting woes have only intensified this season.

Ask La Russa his opinion, and he’ll tell you it’s probably because of the shoulder damage Ankiel suffered when he crashed into the wall May 4 in a collision so violent it left the bill of his hat bent at a 90 degree angle.

But the truth is Ankiel was only hitting .247 with a .326 on-base percentage when he crashed into that wall.

This wasn’t a case of a guy going good, then losing it due to injury. This was a case of a guy going bad, then going worse.

On the season, Ankiel is only hitting .215 with a .278 on-base percentage, five homers and 22 RBI in 223 AB. He has struck out 54 times, 22 of those coming with men in scoring position, a situation when he’s hitting just .203.

And walking with my buddy Z at the All-Star Fanfest here in St. Louis on Saturday, talking about who we would give up for Halladay and how we couldn’t give up Colby Rasmus because of Ankiel’s struggles, I had a terrible thought:

The same thing that happened on the mound in 2000 is happening in the batter’s box in 2009.

It’s a bit harder to notice because strikeouts aren’t nearly the same dramatic failure as wild pitches, but Ankiel looks just as lost now in the box as he did on the mound those fateful nights back in 2000.

Cardinals fans, known for their patience and loyalty and willingness to forgive, are starting to run low on those qualities. It’s not quite to Jason Isringhausen status yet, but there’s a distinct sense of discomfort in the crowd whenever number 24 steps up to bat.

Even La Russa, ever loyal to his veterans (and he loves Ankiel like a son), has been forced to reduce Ankiel’s role in order to stay atop a highly competitive NL Central. Rasmus has taken over center field and Ankiel has been relegated to platoon status with Chris Duncan (another object of scorn) in left field.

This isn’t how Ankiel’s story was supposed to end, not after that triumphant return in August of 2007. Not after all those comparison to Hobbs and The Natural. And not after St. Louis Cardinals fans invested nine years of their lives living and dying with the extreme ups and downs of his amazing story.

And maybe this won’t be how it ends. Maybe he comes back from the break refreshed, healthy and blasting bombs.

He’s come back from hell once.

Maybe he can do it again.

I hope so. A story like this deserves a better ending.

I know, I know

I've been totally slacking lately. Or, more correctly, I've been slammed lately, so I haven't had any time for anything else. I'll get back to it. Got a new story in my head - the sad case of Rick Ankiel. Me and Z were talking about it at fanfest. Basically, the same thing that happened to Rick Ankiel as a pitcher is now happening to him as a hitter. It's not as obvious because strikeouts aren't the same spectacle as wild pitches, but it's there. I'll hopefully have time to write tonight or tomorrow night.

In the meantime, long live Michael Jackson. Personally, I think every church should take down all those stupid pictures of Jesus and replace them with pictures of Michael. Also, Christmas should be moved to August 29 and renamed Thrillermas. And instead of presents, kids will get to drink wine and sleep in bed with strange grown men.

Introducing The All-Athlete Fight Club

Finally got this done:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/214159-introducing-the-all-athlete-fight-club

Anquan Boldin for Brandon Marshall?

Published today on Bleacher Report:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/209881-trading-headaches-why-denver-and-arizona-should-swap-boldin-marshall

Also, enough with Michael Jackson, long live Billy Mays, the San Francisco Giants are for real, Albert Pujols is God, Minnesota should be embarrassed for electing a schmuck like Al Franken, The Hangover was really funny but not the funniest movie ever, I have an Argentinian mistress who is my soul mate but don't tell my wife, Chris Carpenter probably just lost his chance to play int the All-Star Game, and Elijah Dukes got sent back to AAA so it's only a matter of time before he attacks somebody with a bat.

Best Late Picks in NBA Draft History

Published this yesterday on Bleacher Report: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/206377-the-ten-best-non-first-round-picks-in-nba-draft-history

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For you non-twitterers, Clippes GM/Head Coch Mike Dunleavy criticized Bill Simmons yesterday on a radio show. This was Simmons' response.

On Cowherd's show, Dunleavy just called me a "joke writer" & said I had "no credibility." Pot, I'd like you to meet kettle!

Here's a joke: "What do you call an NBA coach who's 194-298 with the Clips?" A: "Still employed!!!" Now that's a funny joke.

1 more joke: Q: "What do you call a coach who decimated 40% of his team's season ticket holders base?" A: "Mike Dunleavy."

Ok, 1 more: Q: "What do you get when you cross cheap suits, booing, 35-point losses + players mailing it in?" A: The Mike Dunleavy Era.

Mike Dunleavy saying someone has no credibility is like Michael Richards calling someone a racist.

I'm so on fire with Dunleavy jokes that Dunleavy just brought in an ice-cold Daniel Ewing off the bench to slow me down.

And now, a few excerpts from Mike Dunleavy's upcoming coffee table photo book, "How The Hell Do I Still Have a Job?"

"I look like this a lot. I'll be honest: It freaks out the players." http://tinyurl.com/nrmtq7

"After bad calls, I look like I'm trying to pass out a kidney stone. Again, it's important to scare your players." http://tinyurl.com/n6ga87

"The end of a typical exchange between me & Baron Davis." Jon & Kate have better body language than us. http://tinyurl.com/lkr6vt

"Here's me waiting for Elgin to turn around so I could plunge a knife into his back." http://tinyurl.com/km3elm

"My players were disappointed when this collision didn't put me in the hospital." http://tinyurl.com/mm5jr7

"Even the refs can't believe I still have a job." http://tinyurl.com/m4e7ym

"A typical scene from last season: One of my players passing me without making eye contact." http://tinyurl.com/mbu6mb

"Here's my doing my thing in the huddle. Notice that nobody is looking at me. Hey, I'm only the coach." http://tinyurl.com/msfy9r

"I bought this suit online for 75% off from a website based in Hungary. Good purchase." http://tinyurl.com/luy9w9

"One of my favorite sports coats. I bought it from Vanilla Ice during an estate sale." http://tinyurl.com/mnsmbs

"If you wondered how I can be 194-298 with the Clippers and still have a job, here's your answer." http://tinyurl.com/lsz23u

An NBA Column!

I actually wrote an NBA column. How about that? http://bleacherreport.com/articles/205652-jefferson-deal-another-sign-of-a-broken-nba

Also, I really enjoyed this beat-down of Tranformers 2. Michael Bay can suck it. http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/23/review.transformers.revenge/index.html

Also, "Citi boosting salaries to offset lower bonuses." I'm waiting .....

Freak Out!

This dude filmed his brother freaking out because his mom canceled his World of Warcraft account (whatever that is). It's freaking hilarious.

Twitter Vacation Diary

Rather than keeping detailed notes on my Disney family vacation, I decided to aggregate my tweets from the past week and post them here. So here they be.

5:15 AM Jun 12 - Going to Disney now. 5-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son on terrorism watch list. Nice.

5:51 AM Jun 12 - People who cheat family boarding on Southwest Airlines can suck it.

8:59 AM Jun 12 - Florida is so much nicer than Missouri. Missouri sucks. Damn.

9:40 AM Jun 12 - Everybody is so damn friendly. I bet this place goes through at least $1 million in Xanax a week. Where's the bar?

12:32 PM Jun 12 - At some indoor theater. Slightly cooler, but damn the stink is enough to make a terrorist cry. On a related note, Adam is crying.

3:45 PM Jun 12 - If there's a murder at Disney World, who has jurisdiction?

8:07 PM Jun 12 - Finally, at 10:02 pm EST, 17 hours after waking up, a Jack and Coke. And all is well again.

9:04 AM Jun 13 - If I had to pick one word to describe the ride "it's a small world," it would be "holy crap I'm glad I'm not on acid right now."

2:10 PM Jun 13 - Confucius say: When you start to smell stink everywhere you go, that's a pretty good indication it's you doing the stinking.

4:21 PM Jun 13 - Where does "end of a long vacation day" rank on the "great time to have a beer" scale? Pretty damn high I'd say.

11:13 AM Jun 14 - Pool side with an ice cold Coors Light. Beautiful.

1:24 PM Jun 14 - Lesson of the day: Two-year-olds not big enough to maintain proper equilibrium on solo voyages down huge water slides. Who knew?

5:40 PM Jun 14 - Met all the princesses tonight at dinner. Somehow I thought they'd be hotter. Hmmm....

(In response to 1:24 pm tweet, friend Sydney asks: “umm. is he alive at least?”)

6:58 AM Jun 15 - @smithsydney Who? I've been huffing sun screen for three solid days now. I think I just saw a giant mouse wearing a chef's hat.

(Sydney explains: “Adam. The one who may or may not have went flying off the water slide yesterday?”)

11:45 AM Jun 15 - @smithsydney Oh him. Yeah, he's OK. Though I could have sworn I heard him call another kid an infidel while we were at the pool today.

2:42 PM Jun 15 - The thing I like about Epcot is you can drink beer from lots of different countries. I've got Italy, England, US, Germany and Norway so far.

(Note: I later learned I didn’t have Italy. I in fact had Belgium instead.)

2:46 PM Jun 15 - Another thing to like about Disney is you can fart wherever. You can do the pause, the walk & roll, or even the lift. It's total freedom.

9:51 AM Jun 16 - You know you have a coffee addiction when it's 90 degrees with killer humidity and you're sweating balls ... sipping a hot cup of coffee.

12:53 PM Jun 16 - Kelly changed Adam while standing during the Hollywood Studios back lot tour. The boy didn't seem to mind the total loss of dignity.

2:31 PM Jun 16 - Day 5, 3:55 pm, Kelly finally cracks, tells the kids to suck it. (No worries. They didn't hear her. Plus she says that to me all the time.)

7:54 PM Jun 17 - This place is so damn magical my balls hurt.

8:15 PM Jun 18 - Last night of vacation, had to hit up ESPN Club. Bartender Joe kind of a dick, but poured a mean drink. Better than a smile and sissy drink.

(In response to this tweet, Kelly tweets: “@Sethdoria shouldn't you tweet about cool wife who was ok with you going out by yourself on the last night? :)”

(In response to Kelly’s tweet, Sydney tweets: “Yes. He should.”)

8:37 PM Jun 18 - @smithsydney: @kellydoria Yes. Thanks wifey. (She's 12 inches from me in bed and I'm tweeting thanks. Welcome to the new age.)



And that’s pretty much the gist. It was hot as hell. We did all the rides we could, ate and spent far too much, and were less than distraught at the thought of coming come. And I might just like drinking alcohol a bit too much.

Also, thanks to Kelly for planning this whole thing out. She spent months pouring over books and web sites, planning every detail for the perfect vacation. And though things didn’t always go exactly according to plan, it was a trip my daughter Abby will never forget. I mean, what six-year-old girl wouldn’t remember Cinderella wishing her a happy birthday?

Thanks wifey.

(That makes a tweet and a blog. Now that's new-age gratitude.)