What The Hell Is Going On Here?

So I’ve been on vacation and not posting, but that doesn’t mean things haven’t been happening. It’s actually been quite an eventful time this past week or so.

In no particular order …

Got an iPhone and new golf clubs for Christmas. I knew about the clubs because I had them picked out, but I was taken completely by shock on the iPhone. Thing is sweet. Does all sorts of stuff I never thought I’d see. Got to give props to Kelly on that one. It reminded me of that car commercial with the flashback to the kid playing his first video game system. Best …. Present …. Ever!

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Navy’s pass defense sucks ass. I’m never picking a service academy in a bowl pick’em ever again.

Then again, maybe I should just never enter a bowl pick’em again. I started 1-7, then won three in a row, then lost the Northern Illinois-Louisiana Tech game to fall to 4-8.

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Don’t ever watch the movie “Burn Before Reading.” Should be called “Burn Before Watching.”

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Of all the college football I’ve watched so far, the players that stood out the most were QB Pat White and RB Noel Devine from West Virginia, WR Hakeem Nicks from North Carolina, RB Jahvid Best from Cal, QB Jacory Harris and LB Sean Spence from Miami (both freshman - good things for the Canes in 09) and Florida State kicker/punter Graham Gano (no joke; kid put on a show; don’t be surprised to see him picked in the third or fourth round in April).

Of course the big news is the Pats finishing 11-5 and not making the playoffs. Let’s take this step by step:

Do I think it sucks the Chargers can make it in at 8-8 while the 11-5 Pats sit home? Yes. Would I change the rule that gives divisional champs an automatic playoff spot? No. Without guaranteed playoff spots for division winners, the NFL would be no better than the NBA or NHL. Divisions have to count for something.

At the same time, I think it’s bullshit the Pats will have a worse draft pick than teams who make the playoffs. Twelve teams will make the playoffs. New England is not one of them. To me, that means they should have, at worst, the 20th pick. But they’re currently slotted 24th, behind playoff contenders San Diego (16th), Arizona (21st), Philadelphia (22nd) and Minnesota (24th). If you’re going to give a division winner with a crappy record a playoff spot, they should have to draft after all teams who didn’t qualify for the post-season, NBA Lottery style.

I was obviously rooting for the Jets to beat Miami because that would put the Pats in the post-season, but watching the Jets go down like that definitely softened the disappointment. I may not have gotten what I really wanted, but I got a pretty good consolation prize. And news that the rat got fired after the game just makes it that much sweeter. Good luck getting another job now, fucker.

For some reason, GM Mike Tannenbaum seems to be getting a free pass for the Jets’ collapse. He spent a whole bunch of money this offseason to build an offensive line that got destroyed by the Dolphins on Sunday. He spent a bunch of money on a defense that finished 18th in scoring defense. He blew the sixth overall pick last April on Ohio State linebacker Vernon Gholston when much better alternatives like Keith Rivers, Sedrick Ellis and Jerod Mayo were available. What exactly entitles him to the free ride here?

Go Ravens. I’m thinking 41-3 Baltimore sounds just about right for this weekend.

Also, go Chargers. I was rooting for San Diego Sunday night for the sole reason that I think they had a much better shot than Denver to take out the Colts. Manning plays like hell in San Diego. Let’s hope that trend continues.

I’ll admit I also enjoyed watching Mike Shanahan’s season come crashing down (and, as it turns out, his Broncos career).

I think I’m going to go ahead and hop on the Falcons bandwagon. First, I had Michael Turner all year in the one fantasy league I won. I kind of owe him for that. Second, I called Matt Ryan as a great pro half-way through last college football season and have had a vested interest in him ever since (same with rookie receiver Harry Douglass, who I started touting while he was a senior at Louisville last year). Third, the architect of the Falcons rebuilding project is Tom Dimitroff, who was hired off Scott Pioli’s staff in New England. If I can’t root for the Pats, I’ll root for the team I know Pats brass will be rooting for. Fourth, they’ll be playing Arizona, who sucks, then, if they win, the Giants in the divisional round.

Speaking of Pioli, he’s being mentioned in Cleveland, Detroit and Kansas City. Hopefully he doesn’t bite on any of them. No point in ruining a good thing.

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Switching subjects to baseball, I hold no ill will on the Yankees spending $400 million on CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira. Rich people spend exorbitant sums of money on luxury items. That’s the way the world works. So what if Burnett is the pitching equivalent to Adrian Beltre? So what if Sabathia is the second coming of Bartolo Colon? And so what if Tex has a .232 career average against Boston (.194 at Fenway)? I’m sure adding those three (plus first baseman Nick Swisher, fresh off hitting .219 last year for the White Sox) to the worst defensive shortstop in baseball (Derek Jeter), a great hitter when it doesn’t count (A-Rod), a crappy outfield (at least until they sign Manny) and no-hitting catcher (Joe Molina at .232) and I’m sure they’ll vault right over Boston and Tampa right back into the winner’s circle.

A move from the past few days I did like is the Red Sox signing Brad Penny to a short-term deal (1 year for $5 million with $3 million extra for throwing over 160 innings). If Penny can return to 2007 form (16-4 with a 3.03 ERA), he could be the bargain of the season.

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Read the other day the Cards were dialing back on their free-agency plans because the economy is likely to eat into ticket sales next year.

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T-!

The Cards “dialing back” their free agency plans would be like an anorexic going on a diet. There’s just not a whole lot to cut out there. Bill Dewitt is the anti-Steinbrenner. Dude couldn’t be cheaper if he was made in a Taiwanese sweat shop.

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There's more, but that's all for now. Have a safe and happy New Year's.